Ramainya orang suruh saya pulang. Ya. Mahu pulang la ni.

This time I come back for good. Soalan glemer: perasaan? Jawapan saya: Mixed feelings. Huu~~ Lagi beberapa jam nak naik flight and these are the things I’m going to miss:

1-MARJON– Obviously. Thousand times better than IPBA

2- Lovely people of Plymouth– Since we are not so urban, the traditional and good manners are still preserved. I’m going to miss pakcik bas says ‘Are you okay malove?’. Nanti kat Malaysia you will be yelled at tau dalam bas. “Dalam lagi! Dalam lagi!”. Silap haribulan kena raba. Dah sempit sangat. Uh~~ I still remember our trip to the city masa christmas shopping itu hari. Sungguh lovely sangat orang2 Plymouth. Masing2 nak bagi tempat duduk. Akhlak mulia sungguh.

3- The food: Kat sini la belajar makan cous cous instead of nasi and develop my culinary skills of Italian food. Chewah. Last time my diet works. Pastuh balik Malaysia. Hampeh. Expanding my waistline. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! *pulls hair*

4- The internet: Although the speed is considered slow in here, but, it is wayyyyyyyy faster than the fastest internet connection speed in Malaysia.

5- The library and books: Oh my god. Why can’t IPBA library be like MARJON’s. It’s not that we’re that miskin. Kalau expanditure utk education dilebihkan, takkan la rakyat Malaysia susah nak cari buku bagus-bagus di library. *membawa diri ke Singapura*

Huu~~ I’m going to pack this desktop and am going to miss for a day

*hug and kiss my own desktop*

Will be in Malaysia in a day. Insya Allah.

Lagu ini hari ini

Kawan… Dunia Kita Memang Berbeza
Jalan Kita Melencong Dan Lurus
Namun Matlamat Kita Tetap Sama
Jadilah Insan Yang Tulus

Hidupku Aku Yang Rasakan
Bukan Seperti Yang Kau Andaikan
Tak Seindah Yang Kau Anggapkan
Tapi Cukup Untukku Dendangkan
Lagu Ini Aku Tulis Hari Ini
Sekadar Untuk Sendiri Renungi
Bukan Saling Menyalahi
Tiada Sebab Yang Tersembunyi

Tak Seindah Pandanganmu
Namun Cukup Untukku
Dendangkan Padamu
Lagu Ini Hari Ini…

Mereka Semua Tak Peduli
Apa Yang Telah Aku Lalui
Ada Yang Hanya Tahu Mengeji
Syukur Masih Ada Yang Mengingati
Kawan, Lihat Diriku Ini
Kita Hanya Beza Rupa Hakikatnya Sama

Tak Hindar Salah PadaNya
Bukankah Kita Telah Berjanji Pada Dia
Untuk Saling Menyanyangi
Kasihnya Bawa Kita Ke Sana…

Tak Seindah Pandanganmu
Namun Cukup Untukku
Dendangkan Padamu
Lagu Ini Hari Ini…
…Untuk Kita Renung Kembali
Bila Tiba Masanya Nanti
Apakah Kau Masih Mendengar Lagu Ku Ini?

Ingatlah Kita Suatu Hari Nanti
Semua Pasti Pergi Tiada Terkecuali
Pergi Ke Sana Menemui Guru Sejati
Dia Yang Bersemayam Di Arasy Yang Abadi

Waktu Itu Lagu ini Tiada Erti Lagi
Dan Pastinya Tiada Yang Mendengari
Asalkan Siapa Yang Ada Sekarang
Bisa Menilai Yang Boleh Dan Yang Terlarang

Janji Dari Ilah mu Pasti Hadir
Dunia Ini Pasti Berakhir
Ingatlah Wahai Semua Musafir
Hari Yang Akhir… Hari Yang Akhir… Kian Menghampir…

*Terima kasih kepada Tuan Panglima Yasir Tamizi.

Life as a story


Our fateful life is a story as the great Shakespeare puts it “Life’s a stage and all men and women are merely players”. Whether you hate or love literature, life is a literature.We are the director, the actor and the entire production team. Our dream is our inspiration to write a great script. We can choose to be a minor or major character. A hero or villain. We can choose to be Derek Sheperd or Prince Charming. We can be a lonely loser in the street, trying to find five cents coin, instead of making good dollars by working. And not to forget, in our life, we always meet with new character, which gives a fresh beginning or tribulations to the plot, or a meaningless character which dies in the middle or at the end. We can be whatever we want to be, and choose to have a great or mundane story because it is the people who move the story.


A great story requires a great plot or script, which means it comes from a great writer. A great story is what we expect to see, when we pay our cinema ticket. If you want your life story to be remembered after people coming out of the cinema, you need to give an impact. A change of perception perhaps. Is it worth for the next five months after you get out of your cinema seat, and remember what had Erra Fazira wore for this and that scene? Life’s like that. Go for a great plot instead of fancy costume. People don’t remember you, for your fashion sense, but your deeds and lines. Because why? Fashion is quickly outdated and it keeps on having new design and line every day. Have you ever heard the say “that is soooo last season”?


Story without an ending, is never a story. Even the novel “The neverending story” has ending. Obviously different stories have different endings. Fairy tales usually have happily-ever-after ending, but have we ever live a fairy-tale life? We can choose to end our story with great impact, or live it hanging, unresolved. Great story gives a satisfying sigh when the cinema lights switched on. When the audience left the cinema, they will remember the ending of the story. They will remember how great it is, and tell to other people about it. It’s the choice of the director, that is us, to give a great ending to our life story.

We choose what we want to be

We choose our line

We choose our clothes

We choose our crew (friends)

We choose our ending.

It’s our choice to have a great story or not.

Over and done

Believe it or not, I have officially finished studying in MARJON. I had last session (drama workshop) with Katy this morning. I’m going to miss everything about MARJON and Plymouth. The place where I learn so many things and the place where I learn about life as well. I know I will miss this place, as my heart feels like not wanting to go back to Malaysia. However, Malaysia awaits me, and whether I like it or not, I still need to go back and do my final year in KL.

Time flown. I thought it was Monday yesterday, and today is already Friday. Where had the Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday gone? *sigh* I haven’t done my packing yet and many other stuffs that need to be done before I go back. Gosh. How time envies me!

So long farewell Plymouth hoe

I shall see you once more

One day it will be

A day for you and me Azwan is ghey

He couldn’t get decent sleep for days and this is what happened.

ainee: did u get some sleep dear?
me azwan: not really, just for few hours.
me azwan: itu pun lepas letih balik mcr semalam.
me azwan: haha.
ainee: u gi ngan bofren sape?
ainee: lpe nk tnya
me azwan: i gi dgn toped.
me azwan: ah, i orgasm’ed multiple time.
me azwan: lol
ainee: ur so ghey
ainee: orgasm’d?
ainee: mcr?
ainee: mygod.
me azwan: it’s like having mental masturbation.
me azwan: haha.
ainee: sooooo ghey
ainee: im sooo going to put this into my blog.
me azwan: hehe, be my guest.
me azwan: i miss gerrard already.
ainee: 😐
ainee: my goawd!!
me azwan: semalam dia hotness ok?
me azwan: i love his hair.

Someone fix him please.


Amma is much successful than Juan Mann (remember the guy who hugs people in Sydney? with a cool song from sickpuppies).She gave away 26 million hugs man! While Juan Mann’s campaign is banned, Amma is welcomed globally and thousands are willing to wait for hours just to get a hug from Amma. I think our society is lacking of family institution’s love. All these materialism makes us forget what’s important and makes us leave people who love us. We are lacking the essence of life. That is love and embracing loved ones. Oh BTW, Amma has a website as well. Well, what do you expect? She’s so successful in NY, and she’s now in London! Gosh. These orang putih are kekurangan kasih sayang la I rasa. Luckily I live in Islam and we stress the importance of family institution. I think it’s simple. Amma gives genuine love and doesn’t ask for requited one.

Time travel

Time flies

Hair gets longer

Judgement is much wiser (hopefully)

Body gets taller (or fatter, in my case)

Skin has become much wrinkled

Memory decays

Another 22 days in here. I’m going to miss this place. It’s almost two years I’ve been here. So many things happen. I can’t believe I’m almost at the finishing line of my degree. I can vote for general election. Time flies really really fast. How much time do I have left really? It’s a way of saying, death is nearer. Scary huh? When thinking of death and be reminded of our sins and our sins to other people. So how?

‘The heart becomes rusted
like iron in water.’
When asked how to banish this
corrosion, the Prophet replied,
‘Remember death frequently and
recite the Qur’an.’

(Monologue: Great. I haven’t gone back to Malaysia yet, and I already speak Manglish la kan~)