This post is also meant for those who aren’t parent yet. Before Fahmi was born, I sworn to myself to learn how to be a good mother. I gather information by reading books. I learn others’ experiences by reading their blogs.
For Parents 2
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Author Archives: eyekneekawai
For parents
Once you’re a parent, you’d get some kind of culture shock. If you’re a lazy bummer, who sleeps till noon, party at night, eating crappy junk food and a totally selfish individualistic person, you’d have to change all those once the bundle of joy arrived.
Melentur pemikiran biarlah dari rebung
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Memanglah.Ada orang kata Bersih ni tak perlu sebab Malaysia negara demokrasi. Ada yang fikir kita memerlukan sistem pengundian yang lebih efektif dan telus supaya pemilihan pemimpin lebih jujur dan saksama. Ada yang rasa benda ni propaganda Yahudi.Ini contoh ekstrim sangat ye. Tapi inilah contoh yang orang boleh nampak sekarang ni. Kita ada pelbagai pemikiran dan pendapat. Yang mana betul sebenarnya?
Continue reading
Ibu Bapa Soleh Anak Cemerlang
Ahad lalu, saya dan suami menghadiri ISAC 2012 yang dianjurkan oleh ISMA julung kalinya. Oleh kerana menyedari ilmu parenting yang ada di dada ini amat cetek dan baru benar kami menempuhi fasa pertama sebagai ayah dan ibu, maka saya sebolehnya ingin menyediakan pelan yang terbaik bagi anak-anak sebelum mereka meningkat dewasa. Kita telah maklum bahawa terlalu banyak gejala negatif yang menukar di kalangan remaja melayu islam kala ini. Continue reading
Breastfeeding mothers are great people
Aku tertarik nak kongsi kisah seorang pramugari yang tabah menyusukan anaknya dari jauh, atas udara. Ceritanya dikongsi oleh penulis Baitul Muslim Az-zaidee. Naluri keibuan menyebabkan tear duct aku merembeskan air mata ke pipi. Bukan senang ye nak buat apa yang Aini Wardiah lakukan pada anaknya Ariff Ziyad. I really don’t know what to do if I were in her place.
Captured by Mirror.co.uk (Miranda Kerr, top model)
Tonight, I watched Soal Wanita on TV AlHijrah. Tentang perjuangan seorang wanita tabah yang menjaga lebih 40 orang anak. Anak kandung ada 7 orang. Mulanya suaminya menentang idea dia nak ambil anak angkat yang berpenyakit AIDS dan anak luar nikah. Siap kata “Mama, kalau anak saya terkena penyakit AIDS, saya takkan maafkan Mama sampai bila2”. Tapi Mama Norlina tetap tabah dengan nawaitu sucinya nak bekalkan kasih sayang dan shelter pada anak-anak istimewa ini.
Petikan dari blog Mama Norlina:
Sanggup Menyusukan Bayi. Puan Hjh Norlina Hj Alawi merasa sangat belas tidak terhingga terhadap seorang bayi kecil yang tidak berdosa tidak langsung merasai setitik pun susu dari seorang insan yang bergelar ibu. Lantaran ibu kandungnya tidak dibenarkan langsung untuk menyusukan anak ini atas nasihat doktor bagi menggelakan bayi dijangkiti penyakit HIV dari ibu kandungnya.
Justeru itu Puan Hjh Norlina Hj Alawi telah meminta izin dari suaminya untuk mengandung lagi dengan niat sucinya untuk menyusukan bayi angkatnya sekali gus menjadikannya anak susuannya dan berusaha menyelamatkannya dari dijangkiti penyakit HIV. Dengan harapan melalui susuan ibu ini dapat memberi manfaat terhadap bayi dengan kandungan zat dan khasiat lengkap dapat membina antibodi menentang penyakit.
Buat benda mulia, impossible senang macam tu je. Macam Nabi Muhammad SAW, berapa ramai yang kata dia gila, hina dengan macam-macam gelaran dan tuduhan? Mama Norlina pun menerima ujian juga untuk kerja mulia beliau. Orang mempertikaikan penjagaan anak HIV+ akan berjangkit dsb. Tapi beliau tanya kepada diri sendiri “aku yang nak ambil dia sebagai anak angkat, aku akan jaga dia macam anak sendiri”. Dan ayat beliau yang paling menyebakkan dada ialah “Kalau tuhan nak bagi kita penyakit, tak jaga anak AIDS pun tuhan akan bagi penyakit”. Host Amie Sofea menambah point beliau dengan sepotong hadis yang berbunyi “اِحْفَظِ الله یَحْفَظْكَ، اِحْفَظِ الله تَجِدْهُ تُجَاهَكَ،” yang maksudnya lebih kurang begini:
Peliharalah Allah nescaya Allah akan memeliharamu.
Agak sentap juga kerana aku seorang guru yang diamanahkan untuk menjaga anak orang lain waktu sekolah. Aku rasa banyak pincang dalam melaksanakan tugas. Allah akan tolong jaga anak kita (mungkin dari segi tarbiyyah) sekiranya kita jaga hak anak orang lain dengan baik. Aduhai…
Berbalik kepada tajuk di atas, breastfeeding mothers di Malaysia menghadapi satu cabaran besar di mana-mana sahaja iaitu BF sbg simbol seks. Hello abang2, pakcik2. Kami BF kerana Allah. Mulianya kami kerana kami melahirkan, membesarkan dan menyusukan. Ekau ado?
Pernah seorang guru “buat lawak” pasal effort aku pump susu di sekolah. Masa tu van Koko Krunch buat promo. Hantar laa berkotak Koko Krunch dalam bilik guru. Koko Kruch ada lagi tapi kotak susunya dah habis. Sekali sorang cikgu lelaki ni cakap “Pergi mintak susu kat Cikgu N. Aini” Ewahhh~ Melawak ye. Agak offensive tapi takpe. Sabo2. Mudahan Allah banyakkan bekalan susu aku sampai anak yang bongsu. Kepada yang menyusukan, kuatkan semangat! Susu yang Allah bagi, khasiatnya seratus kali ganda dari susu formula. Never give up!
Between love and lust
After several years of experience, and observation, now I can personally define both clearly.
Love is what most of us want, but many ended up with lust.
Bitter divorce
After my discussion with Guru Besar regarding our pupils’ achievement and welfare, I had deep thought. It is true, there are many potential students from my school but they were destroyed halfway to success ladder because of their parents’ divorce. Then I asked permission to go back as it is Friday–major day of traffic jam in Johor Bahru. It was raining cats and dogs. I was shivering because of the cold rain and the air conditioner from my car. Then Adele’s song “Someone like you” soared in my car. Her voice that came from the sound recording of Royal Albert Hall just touched my heart. I suddenly broke down. Crying in the rain (but I was sheltered by my car, heh). Continue reading
When a class cries
I am the class teacher of 4 Bijak. The class is full of rascals. They refuse to learn. They refuse to stay in class. They refuse to listen. They hardly do their work. It is the last class. A few of them are love children. A few of them are abandoned by their genetic parents. A lot of them are divorce victims. 3 of them are LINUS tegar (hardcore remedial student). It is indeed a tough class for any teacher.
Today I had a pep talk with 4 Bijak. I told them how the pupils of year 6 of 2011 couldn’t get 5As because they made a teacher felt very very angry to the extent that the teacher said “Saya doa sorang pun tak dapat A!”. Indeed, his words are granted. Nobody got A from his class. When UPSR result was announced, the teacher was no longer teaches in my school as he got a promotion to be a GPK in some other school. I told them this story, to stress, how it is important for students, to get blessings from their teachers. As knowledge is nur (light), and it will not enter a dark heart (stubborn, full of negative traits).
I told them, it is not my lost if I fail in the subject. It is their lost. It is them who will struggle with living later. But I don’t want them to struggle. My hope is, at least they can compete with foreign workers who are leeching out our country’s fund. Those foreign workers are tough cookies. They are better skilled and good at learning our language. I wonder what if one day, the working industry of Malaysia is dominated by non-native?
During the last minute, more of them cried because I told them that I love them and I do not want them to go to hell. I told them to change before they hit puberty. This is their only chance to change their learning behaviour because if they do not change now, it would be more difficult as they grow into teenagers.
Before I let them go out for recess, I asked them to salam my hand. Not just handshake or kiss my hand, but salam with a sincere hug. I whispered into their ears. Hoping they can get to the bottom of my heart. They even cry after recess. I felt guilty because their science teacher told me, one of them could not stop crying and replied nothing when the teacher asked. It is the girl whom I whispered “Kalau Sofea rasa takde orang sayang Sofea, ingat cikgu sayang pada Sofea”. She is abandoned by her parents. She is currently living with foster parents who do not care much about her. And maybe, she has never felt mother’s warmth. She promised me to write a letter.
Alhamdulillah in every sense, it is Allah who holds their fragile heart. It is Allah who had made them cry and touches their heart. I merely act as a loving teacher, who wants them to be better people. I really hope their learning view and attitude will change, as it is very hard for me to talk with a heavy heart. Am not going to do this kind of thing again. It’s heartbreaking.
I love them for the sake of Allah. I really do. I want to treat them as if they are mine. They sent me letters and one of them gave me a present. I think he doesn’t know how to write. Pity to those who are illiterate in my class. They couldn’t get anywhere if they are illiterate. I’m itching to teach them. And I want to be more than a teacher. I want to touch their heart. I found teaching is satisfying. Although teachers are treated badly in Malaysia, I still would want to be a teacher. It is not just a career, but my life.
Happy birthday deslack
Its almost 3 years, we are married to each other. Alhamdulillah. May Allah make the bond stronger.
……..More
Last year i didnt do anything for ur bday as i was in confinement and we both had hard time, taking care of little fahmi. We both have no experience, as parents, and thank Allah, he made us all survive till today.
There is no word I can say, to show my gratitude towards you. All i can say is, dont be anyone else, as you are a great husband, a great muslim. May allah grant you his heaven. Ameen.
Breast is the best
Even before labour (they call it labour because it’s a darn hard work), I already plan to breastfeed my baby exclusively till he is 6 months old. As we all know, Allah created breast milk with thousands of goodness.
As Fahmi came out to this world, I quickly breastfeed him with the tiny amount of colostrum. However, not much milk Fahmi had for a few days. Pity him, we were admitted to Seri Manjung Hospital because of jaundice, at special infant care ward. I have no idea as this was my first experience and he was sleepy along the way. His good behaviour is actually dangerous. He was supposed to drink a lot, so that the yellow chemical thingy will come out( I can’t remember what’s the name).
People say it’s good and bla3 but it’s a hard work actually. I have to restrict myself from certain food and consume a good diet. And, and, I can’t miss my meal. Especially milk. Euw! Nowadays I feel numb easily as I don’t consume much milk. Baby saps the calcium and I can feel the effect on my teeth.
Maintaining good breastfeeding routine requires support from the father. My husband has been my biggest cheerleader, giving me all the support, to make sure Fahmi gets all the nutrients he needs.
As a muslimah, nursing wear is my saviour whenever I want to breastfeed in public. I get nice ones from myhafsah.com. A good nursing wear should be comfortable. Myhafsah has it. Plus, the nursing wear are stylish and affordable. It’s worth every penny. The owner replies quickly and answer any question promptly.
Besides nursing wear, I need breast pads, breast pump, breast milk storage bottles and a nice place to do breastfeeding. Although people think it looks easy to choose breastfeeding, but many factors need to be considered, such as planning when to pump breast milk at the work place, what to eat so that mother can produce enough milk supply, doing loads of laundry as the breast milk is quite smelly, and many more.
Anyhow, it doesn’t kill my spirit to do breastfeeding. May Allah give me a longer period to breastfeed my babies. So, breast is the best! Get help from local breast milk support group or surf susuibu.com for more info.