Selamat Hari Cikgu from IPBA

Tahun ini sambutannya lebih bermakna. Cohort 2 melakukan persiapan untuk sambutan Hari Guru peringkat IPG (sekarang bukan dipanggil maktab lagi). Kawan-kawan saya, Nisa dan Jarod (boss besa), ialah orang-orang yang bertungkus lumus dan bekerja keras demi menjayakan sambutan Hari Guru di IPBA tahun 2008. Sewajarnya saya mengucapkan tahniah dan terima kasih kepada mereka terlebih dahulu.

Tahun ini, [insya Allah] tahun terakhir pengajian di IPG. Tahun depan bakal menjadi guru. Tadi semasa gosok kain, hati saya berdebar memikirkan praktikum yang bakal dilalui. Hati saya berdebar kalau anak-anak murid saya, akan lebih nakal dari saya dahulu. Tapi bila fikir-fikir balik, kelakar pun ada. It’s like a karma.

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Quran geek

[Sebab Kak Mass menulis dalam Bahasa Melayu dengan harapan akan memperbaiki bahasa ibunda, maka saya pun berniat yang sama]

Mak selalu suruh saya belajar tajwid supaya bacaan saya betul. Mak lambakkan buku-buku tajwid konservatifnya di depan saya. Tapi buku-buku itu ada yang ditulis secara tak menarik (maklumlah, saya orang yang unconventional). Terus terang saya katakan, saya tak pernah lagi belajar secara formal selepas meninggalkan sekolah. Dari sekolah rendah lagi memang fail bab tajwid. Tapi bila tasmik (perdengarkan bacaan), boleh lepas pulak. Hee. Kalau lepas ni ada offer bagus untuk belajar Quran dan masa mengizinkan, Insya Allah saya akan pergi belajar.

Oh, berbalik kepada tajuk entry. Kenapa Quran geek? Penggabungan Quran dan teknologi akan memudahkan orang-orang seperti saya (baca: geek) belajar tatabahasa Al Quran. Ada suara kecil bertanya “buat apa nak belajar tajwid Quran? reti baca cukup la”.

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warkah untuk mak

ke hadapan mak yang disayangi,

along tahu mak marah kat along. mak bagi harapan tinggi kat along. along tahu mak susah hati sebab along sakit sakit. along kalau boleh tak nak susahkan hati mak. cukuplah dengan ujian yang allah dah bagi. along pelik sebab baru kini along mak nampak mak kuat. mak tak pernah tunjuk kekuatan mak pada anak2 sebelum ni. tapi dari mak along belajar. nak hidup menurut tuntutan agama itu payah. nak harapkan orang nak bahagiakan kita, tak usah. along baru tahu, ketegasan mak selama ini, adalah demi mengajar anak² mak, menjadi tabah untuk hari depan yang tak tentu.

mak memang tabah. bersendirian membesarkan kami bukannya mudah. mak sanggup perjuangkan hak wanita yang Allah dah janjikan. mak belajar drive, sahut cabaran opah. walaupun mak orang yan konservatif. mak memang independent. mak uruskan jenazah adik mak sendiri. mak naik turun tangga mahkamah tanpa dokongan orang lain. mak biaya anak2 mak dengan hasil usaha mak. mak tak nak harapkan
bantuan orang lain. apatah lagi meminta-minta. mak pentingkan maruah dari segalanya.

maafkan along sebab susahkan mak. along tak nak sakit lagi. tak nak susahkan mak ambik MC. along tahu mak sayang MC. along nak belajar. nak kerja. nak balas jasa mak, cukuplah derita yang mak tanggung. tak siapa tahu. kalau ada rezeki along nak hantar mak pergi haji. inya allah. along akan cuba mak. allah akan murahkan rezeki mak sebab mak perempuan yang baik. dah lama tertangguh niat mak. tapi takpe, mungkin yang bakal datang akan menjadi lebih baik. along nak buktikan kat mak bahawa along akan belajar dari kesilapan. ketabahan mak telah mengajar along untuk tabah. mak selalu pesan “rajin² baca Quran”. bila along lupa diri, allah bagi ujian. mak akan nasihat “pergi ambil wuduk, baca quran. jangan stress². quran itu ubat”. along masih bernasib baik, ada mak tolong ingatkan. along tak tahu nak buat apa kalau mak takde.

mak, along mintak ampun, mintak halal segala makan pakai. along tak nak mak menangis lagi. along tak nak susahkan mak lagi. along nak jaga mak. nak make sure mak tak perlu penat² lagi. bagi mak jangan risau. bagi mak rehat dengan hati yang tenang. maafkan along mak. tahun ni along tak dapat peluang beli kad untuk hari ibu. tahun lepas pun sama. mak siap cakap “dulu kamu selalu bagi kad. kamu sorang je ingat. yang lain tu memang tak wish langsung. tahun ni kamu lupa ye”. along mintak maaf sangat2. tapi along nak mak tahu, along saaaaayang sangat kat mak. along hargai mak. nanti kalau ada rezeki along bagi  ye (insya allah). selamat hari ibu mak. walaupun mak tak pernah tahu kewujudan blog along, tapi along nak mak tahu yang along sayang sangat kat mak. teringin sangat cium tangan mak. insya allah ye mak?

Itai

Honto ni itai. Especially when you are challenged mentally and emotionally. I had been sick since Tuesday. I could not even lift my head on Tuesday. Was heavy. Then I tried to treat myself. I eat although I do not have appetite. I must move, because nobody will do so for me. I must take care of my own self. Because no one else will do.

But there is one thing that makes me feel like living. I keep on writing and expressing my thoughts and feelings. Reminds me of the story of Aya Kito. Ichi namida no ritteru. Aya keeps on writing till her last breath. With tears and shaky hands, she writes. She does not give up and gain continuous support from friends and family. She knows her time is very little. But she does not wait for it. She seize her left time. She did what she had to do. And it’s my turn. I should not easily give up. Smile to tell others not to worry. Only shed tears when the pain is unbearable. I want to write. No matter how much pain it takes. Even though I tap on-screen keyboard. Even though I write short piece for hours. I want to write whatever I can.

ichi_diary

It’s okay if you fall.
You can just get up again.
Why don’t you look up at the sky, while you’re down there.
The blue sky spreads across above you.
Can you see it smiling at you?
You are alive.

(Aya Kitou, 1962-1988)

But hey, I’m not dying. I’m just being sick and weak. I want to live longer. I still haven’t fulfill my dreams yet. I still haven’t seize my time yet. I’m having exam this Tuesday. Hai, gambaremasu!

PS: This noon Ustaz called me and told me about one of my course mates. Chai is diagnosed dengue and admitted to hospital. I hope he get well soon. Let’s banish dengue from Malaysia. Let’s take care of our environment. It takes a few bunch of responsible individuals to ensure a place’s cleanliness. We have to help our mother earth and ourselves. Gambaremasu minna san!

Raya aku dan ummah

Semalam aku beraya. Pun orang datang rumah aku beraya. Bob je belum lagi.

Semalam dilema mengambil makanan berlemak dan bersantan sangat pedih. Desert dan minuman bergula, aduh. Hancur program diet sebulan aku dalam masa sehari. Hilang segala healthy food nutrition yang aku consume selama ni, dalam masa sehari. Oh, betapa jangka masa sehari bisa membuatkan daguku berlapis (rasa tak nak pergi beraya oke!). Oh, lemak membina semula lapisan-lapisan pertahan di bawah epidermis. Aduh tensi!

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PMS 07, be there or be square.

Orang UK get ready!! This winter you will be warmed with the true bondness (ukhwah). The same event I attended last year is still fresh in my memory. It was the best gathering ever. Since I never have a sister, I don’t know how it feels like. But when I went to PMS in Coventry, there are so many nice sisters and care of us. Doctors are always available during the time. Offering us medicines, advice and comfort. I miss the time I had and I am here to invite my brothers and sisters to winter gathering at Loughborough, this winter.

pms07

Malaysia phone oh!

I tried to call my mak a few times, and my credit is getting lesser and lesser. Giving up, I called my uncle asking what happened to her. I know that she doesn’t go to terawih if my adik is not at home. So, I called some people, less than 3 minutes I reckon, then I tried to call my mak again. Miracle happened. Mak answered my call and we chatted. She said the phone rung about 4 times but she didn’t hear the other side, and I didn’t hear her as well. No wonder my credit was being deducted. Blimey! So the problem is the phone. I told her, what’s the purpose of paying 30 ringgit per month if you can’t get a good phone. TELEKOM makes money about RM 360 per year, per household. Imagine how many customers they have. I hope the nenek and makcik pakcik in the kampung know their rights and take action instead complaining to himself. We ought to get the best service since we pay.

When was the last time…

  1. You cried willfully of seeing a suffering? (Japanese and korean drama is not in the list)
  2. You make one’s day?
  3. You keep the smile whole day?
  4. You give all your love and soul yet purify your heart?
  5. You contribute to the society? What more world?
  6. You realised you can change this world?

Do you remember? Do you still have a heart? Do you dream a dream? Do you know the reason for you existence? Do you realise you are the chosen one? Do you??