Last night all I can remember was, I had a really bad dream. Firstly was islamic’s art. In the dream I asked myself “apehal islamik2 nieh?” (why on earth this islamic thingy?). Then another fragment, which is very very frightening and I almost wet my pant.

Dream 1: i can’t really remember how it started but all I can remember was, there are people roaming around in a dark place then suddenly there’s a screeching sound, and everyone was closing their ears with hands and after about 2 minutes, the sound went off and and our ears was bleeding. and in my heart “kiamat ke nie? adakah ini semboyan pertama yg matikan org2 beriman? betul ke ni kiamat?” and i was like so freaked out. then i saw my mum and i was hugging her from the back and I was crying woefully “mak~~along takut… along nak bertaubat…mak~~kiamat ke nie? arini pagi jumaat” and all i can remember was that recall my sins that i had done and i regret them.

Dream 2: this evening, after I read a few pages of Toni Morissons, I fell asleep. In my long dream (I cut it short because I’m not a good narrator), I was havinga relationship with someone’s husband. he is handsome, tough-bod, posh and pampers me a lot. I even sat on his lap during an art perfomance show (what??). So i get up with a confused feeling, because I think I’ve fall in love with that person (my preference is old guy mkay? like richard gere and pierce brosnan. 😛 )

For the first dream, I probably had it after I read an article in iluvislam site (because I want to do some research of theology, they have good articles about it but I didn’t manage to find because I read the very frightening one). It was about hell pit, how big it is, how torturing it is and I could not even finish reading it. I only read for a bit, then I had goosebumps, my neck ached and my hair neck was standing. I was mental for awhile.

The second one affects my emotion. He called me and I was like “idontloveyoulikeididyesterday” (mychem song, haha). He was trying to be nice but I was so tempted to be pampered and loved, like what happened in the dream. I asked myself “what’s happening? that guy was not even real and you’re demanding so much from a real guy”. Then I thought of having a time of my own and not hurt him. I was mamai and soapy anyway. Huhu.

Now I’m afraid to go to sleep. I hadn’t had bad dream for long. I texted some people. They said what you dream will not become true (2nd dream) and just ignore it. But the first one? Gosh. I’m really scared. Is this a sign or something??

I lost 2 kilos. yeay! Like my doctor said, it’s (diarrhoea) the fastest way to be slim (i had it for a week. woohoo!).

My hands were shaky because of the drug that I take. My mom thought I was having dengue. I thought I had TB. Screw the drug effect I experienced that makes my condition worse.

This person is trying to fork my money by selling spirulina (I’m selling it to anyone with cheaper price. Tell me if you’re interested). Another person is trying to sell transfer factor. Whatever it is, they’re taking advantage of sick people. Hwargh. It’s a very expensive price for one to be healthy.

I have to burden my mak by consuming her time and sick leave quota (dem i feel guilty). I have worried few people and delayed my course work. Urgh. I am sick of being sick.